I looked out of the window; it was like a scene from Tom and Jerry, window ledge, net curtain and baked pie cooling on the side. There were lots of puppies in a tree outside the window, as if they were born there and that’s where they grew. We went outside to check them and I then popped back in to get a step ladder in order to take them down. By the time I returned there was a couple already there taking them down. They were very defensive when we tried to talk to them; it was if they thought we were judging them for something they hadn’t done, a crime they hadn’t committed.
It shifted: M was putting the large refuse sack in the water canal, something he was told to do by the water system people. It was to check how far it moved, and he had placed it at a point where it would reach the Eco system, the place where all refuge is then moved by solar panel powered boats, rather than any other means. The couple saw him and started asking questions, accusing him of polluting the water course. Irene was there – she handed me more bin liners; she was on my side and knew we were only doing as we were told and what needed to be done. It meant a lot to have her backing us up, I could feel the support and the need for the comfort of someone.
The scene changed again: we were allowed the puppies to feed as they had (the couple) other things to be getting on with. I questioned how to feed them – mini bottles with teets like a baby? they nod as I go off, but M is already making the first bottle. He leaves it for me to continue, I start pouring in the milk, screwing on the lid and placing them in a heated container. I go off to do something only to realise what I’m doing has distracted me.. It’s been ages and the puppies still haven’t been fed. I carry on with the last of the bottles only to find they’ve gone. Where are they? M has put them in a warm sink full of water to keep them warm. I take one to feed a pup.
The scene changes again: Bruce Willis is driving dangerously in a banged car; he’s crashing into the front under section of the lorry cab. It pop a huge button the size of the grill and the under carriage pops forward displaying a space age car. He jumps in with excitement ready for the next lorry. He’s fighting things, fighting lorries; jumping from one space car to the next by crashing into them.
I wake up
You tell me that you need to catch up later, what I’m saying isn’t all that it seems and you know. You’re going to break the barrier even though I’m trying to hold it together; but you’re too busy, rushing here and there.
I’m in a run that turns into a bike ride. I’m on my old racing bike trying to catch up with the person in front who’s just overtaken a bus. I’m trying to overtake it but every time I speed up, I come to another speed bump that slows me down. Eventually I catch the bus up only for it to change to another person on a bike. I start to overtake but my speed it like peddling in water and the biker just becomes a normal walker with their walking speed being faster than my cycling. I feel so unfit and with the gears stuck in high it’s slower to set off each time I have to slow. Eventually I get to the end where a woman asks my position and when I last ran. I tell her I haven’t competed in over ten years and this was my first run. She nods walking off as she tells me she thought so.
I take my bike back into school, leaving it against the wall while I try to find the others, but most are getting celebratory bits ready and the others have popped home. It’s almost 5 and that’s when I find the majority of children and parents in class waiting. I question why they’re there and tell them they can leave, it’s late. That’s when one parent quietly confirms they know, but they’re here for the party that I haven’t been invited to. A small selection of other children, mainly with special needs, and their parents haven’t been invited as these parents think we’re not important. They don’t like us and have made it clear. I have a burning desire to hit someone and her face is so tempting but I kick the chair leg and make my anger known before exclaiming that I have a degree to do as I collect my books, trying to show that I’m not stupid as I walk out.
I meet another teacher and ask if they’ve seen you but they think you’ve gone home. They mention you’re late back and T was informed of the surprise and the car due to collect you. I walk towards the office where a couple of pupils are messing with the zip on another teachers bag. They’re secondary school pupils. I stop them and one leaves, the other messes about pretend fighting me, asking me to lock arms. It’s the usual: you want to fight someone or something, but no matter what you do in the dream, you have no power – your punches or in this case arm struggles, are weak and non existent. You know you’ve the power to defeat, but you can’t, it’s like being weighed down by water, everything running in slow motion.
I met A in a small field that seemed to be the ending of a country lane. It was overgrown and bumpy grass with trees and shrubs bordering near the fence. G arrived in his Range Rover whilst A was talking to me, smiling, appearing happy and ready to catch-up. G came over and asked how she was – really!? A turned her back to me; G apparently knew more than me, aware of events and her circumstances to what I could only assume was to do with health. She was talking to him quietly trying at first not to cry but eventually the flood barriers released and she broke down. They went to sit in his car to allow more privacy, give somewhere to offload and release. I was left standing, watching, wondering and feeling emotions of guilt, sadness and empathy. I wanted to be of some use, to comfort but I wasn’t a part of that knowledge or support. I felt distanced and alone.
I don’t know who he was but I apparently knew him, and I was trying to get him to talk, to vent, to rant, to open up and release his anger. He’d been instructed to hand over some assets by court order to another relative by a certain date; his wife wanted to talk, get help, but he was clamming up. I asked questions knowing he’d refuse and be abusive, but I tried to provoke a response knowing the more I’d ask, the more chance he’d eventually explode and let it all out. He started being rude, turning it on me, trying to push me away. I felt a little embarrassed as we were in a coffee shop and I could feel the eyes of people around starting to stare as they quietened to listen, but I stood strong and told him to carry on, to let it out. It was hard.
I was looking at the paperwork with little paragraphs of tiny writing but big words. A lady sitting next to me pointed out one word which was on her sheet; she was going through a similar thing with her sister. She’d been requested to hand over all their mothers belongings. They’d thought about doing it there and then – apparently anything not given or taken on that day was no longer available by order, but it never worked that way. So they’d extended it till the end of the week to give them time to go through it all.
It was then me, I was being told to give certain belongings to my brother; he wanted all the sheep/stock. People asked who owned the farm, I said ‘me, oh and our parents’. They highlighted the positive, that he can have the funds but he can’t take away the farm which is where the heart lies.
I was then walking through a barn, slightly open, when a boy came over to check where to put sheep – he’d been instructed by two men he was with. I panicked, took a brisk walk over the hill knowing something wasn’t right, and as I came round the building, the men were driving off with the two dogs, pulled along in a trailer – an old green sports car with each sitting in the seats with their hair blowing; massive shaggy dogs. There wasn’t anything I could do but stare after them.
I was in a room lunching with O’H from Nurse Jackie (I was watching it before bed) with various conversations going on but mainly the feeling of having a friend, a support and comfort – a strong friendship that was reciprocated on all levels. The room was more like a conference hall with round tables that seated about ten people. The tables laid with burgundy table cloths, a vase of flowers, wine and water glasses.
At some point I walked off to the bathroom that were just along the stone floor corridor, up a few stone steps, similar to a castle, and even a few more into the toilet cubicle. O’H popped her head in; she knew what I was thinking, told me to relax and go with the flow, that there isn’t anything we can do with our lives other than live them to the max.
She had a new GF (which she had in the series I’d been watching) but the girl was a human size slug. I can’t remember how the rest of that panned out but remember she was sleeping with O’H, as a slug, lying on top of her body as they talked. Upon entering the room, the GF turned round but also changed back into her human form.
The scene changed and somehow I was in our old house – at least the living room of our old house – with the rear room similar to our current house but with alterations, maybe a tad bigger (wishful thinking!).
In the house, the rear French doors were cracked and the window panes covered in newspaper, however, I was trying to make sure everything was locked – almost a fear, that I needed to secure the house to prevent intruders. At the front, I was trying to ensure the windows were closed and locked, yet opened one to allow in some air. It was very windy out; I pop my head out of the front downstairs window where I saw lots of rubbish blown over the bin behind the car which was on the drive. I was about to reach out my arm to collect up what I could see when PL (an old colleague) came over and asked what I was doing. Could he have his party letters and poster that had blown off the wall. I handed them to him with a slight hesitation, a feeling of apprehension.
I woke up
We’re in another hilly village set in the country. There are weird play areas, extravagant, large, or adventurous – all nestled on the hillside overlooking the sea. We drive along trying to find the best place to park up, but nothing appeals as we drive past each space big enough for our car. We’re not sure if parking in the first space might stop us from seeing something better if we keep driving – we say nothing, we just amble along slowly until we reach the end of the road with a white cottage at the side. We turn the car round and pull up next the bollard fencing surrounding the play area, next to a black hut.
After a short rest we go for a walk. We stand and watch the children playing in a nice modern play area. M helps N climb along a chain rope about an inch off the floor but the top chain is too lax. I show them how it’s done, only for them to lose interest and walk off over the lower panel of a broken fence, back out to the grass verging the road. It jumps…
…We’re in a cottage; I don’t want to go anywhere, I don’t want to do the things M does. He tells me he’s happy for me to stay in the cottage as he goes off to do his ‘science’ stuff. A lorry man is parked on the drive, he’s about to rest so reparks to save space. He’s driven too close to the window but at an angle, and it’s bowing the window in. I bash it with my hand (even though he wouldn’t hear through the double glazed glass, nor his big lorry cab) forcing the driver to see he’s too close. He reverses a tad and jumps out checking the window before seeming happy with his parking.
I go into the other room; I’m upstairs in gramps house, first in his bedroom but different flowery decor, and then I pop into our old back bedroom before getting worried. I start to question where M has gone, who is he meeting, is he seeing someone else? I contemplate texting, asking if he’s seeing someone, I can’t go through that again so I phone instead. He says he’s near Ds and he’s doing his science run, meaning looking at architecture and history and… I know he’s telling the truth but I still feel that scared anxious feeling that I’m about to lose him.
I wake up
I’m in the country, a small village overlooking a large stretch of hilly fields on my way to meet some friends. I’m steadily walking across the field when the boys suddenly sweep over the edge of the hill; they’re shouting, running, telling me to ‘RUN!’
A nuclear bomb is about to explode as we run back the way I’ve just come, back to the top of the hill. We’re struggling with speed, neither of us extremely fast – we won’t get far enough in time for safety. It hits; there’s no clear sound of explosion, just the large pink cloud edging closer and closer as we turn back once again, this time running towards an out building built from breeze blocks. The others didn’t follow, they ran the way they’d come, but I’d chosen the only haven possible.
I dive in just as the cloud of warm air hits, shutting the door, diving further into an inside storage cupboard as I watch the aluminous pink shining in through the cracks between the roof tiles and the blocks. I’m partially conscious of the enormity of this event, that it’s highly unlikely I’d survive the radiation, yet hide all the same.
Last night I was working in a warehouse with my old work colleagues. C took me to the edge of the ‘sink hole’ which was like a large orange metallic grid tiled plug hole – something you’d expect in the future of spaceships – where a member of staff fell. I watched, even though it was a replay of some kind, but I was there too, watching as he slid down the sides, bashing the dipped edges to fall further into the tube below, far into a black hole of no existence. Again I felt helpless whilst trying to comfort C who knew this person. I had all sorts of feelings, the feelings I feel or pick up from others, or at least I imagine they feel – yet others argue is a very empathic intuitive trait – but I sometimes hate feeling it. Unlike real life where I hide what I feel, whether for myself or others, in my dreams I seem to be releasing these emotions or their feelings are magnified with great effect.
At one point I was on a hill top/cliffs edge looking over, trying to stop myself from free falling in the same way as this worker. I’m not sure how I got there or how I managed to be in the warehouse but I was. Later I was back walking within the aisles of the warehouse where the reach trucks roamed. I needed to escape. I’d been summoned by the boss but wanted to ensure C was okay before I left.
Everything jumped: I was at school with A but not our current school, this was more like my old junior school. We were in the hall and A & B were yelling at the children to be quiet. They voiced their disapproval of the noise and then spoke in their calm voices to those who were listening, that they expected total silence and were expecting straight backs with a clear response when their names were called. Strangely I felt I was to be included in this and sat in one of the lines until my name was called last ‘Mrs Masq’ to which I replied ‘yes miss’ and A chuckled with a ‘look at you sitting there’ as though it wasn’t expected of me to sit like it.
I’m not sure what that was about but again still in school I was sitting near the wall with a father, his young son and grandma, waiting for the child who attended the school. I praised the youngest boy, made small talk telling him all would be fine before getting up and leaving them to it.
I woke up
I’m collecting the worn name plates from ancient model spaceships. These are the style of spaceship that are angled, similar to those seen on Star Wars, but now old and rusty.
I walked into a dirty room with metal grid flooring and a large square work bench in the centre containing lots of models that I wanted. Someone else had started to collect a few but they seemed to concentrate on collecting the actual spaceship as opposed to the name plates that I wanted.
As usual we jumped and I was suddenly on a space ship. The pod I was standing in was only big enough for one person to stand up. We were trying to survive, to get away, but next to me the other pod was being sucked down in millions of dots like being transported via television or ‘Beam me up Scotty’ or warp light speed!
A woman who I think was River from Doctor Who, told me to run, to get out as my escape pod would go next. I’d be sucked down through space into the earth below, a black hole, another vortex of time, unknown!
I woke up
A relatives son was being held in a prison, somewhere like Africa or an exotic country with tunnels and caves built into the rock face. There were walkways similar to the sea front…
I know, an array of scenery!
He was sentenced to lethal injection and there wasn’t a hope in hell of us doing anything to stop it. It was another of those feelings where I had no control; we could do nothing but wait.
My dad was there and the following morning we were leaning against the cold white walls of the cave when I asked if they’d gone ahead the night before. With tears in his eyes, he said they had and the boy was dead. I tried to console but woke up.
I put some papers in the back of the car on one of the child car seats; next thing I’m driving. Our daughter is about 2 years old in the back with someone else, my brother-in-law (I think), with my husband to my side in the passenger seat. We are driving between warehouse units when up in front I suddenly see that it is a dead end, a river. The road comes to an end with the river bank built as concrete sides, similar to the sides of a dock. I tried to brake, but it all happened too quickly, although, in slow motion. The car is slowing down but it is not stopping, instead it skates over the edge and lands with a gentle splash in the river.
I expected the car to sink quickly but it didn’t, it bobbed up and down as it calmed to a stop. I told the others to unbuckle while I was undoing our daughters car seat, fumbling with the buckle. At the start I was leaning around and over the back of the drivers seat, but then I was the rear passenger whilst still being in the front; there were two of me! The others didn’t move so I told them again that it was time to get out before the car sank. The car started to tip forward and dive, water seeping in faster. The others didn’t unbuckle, it was as if they wanted to go down with the car which only enhanced my feeling of helplessness. I could feel the uncontrollable fear inside, the panic as I quickly told them again, it was now or never as forced the rear door open. The water gushed in as I tried to push our daughter out and up, but she was too small so I held her and swam up as the car sank beneath me.
We popped out through the surface and I swam to the edge where a man wearing a baseball cap, a beard and chewing tobacco, was fishing with his son – they just sat and watched! The man came up close to the edge and put his face next to mine, tilting his head, looking into my eyes as if trying to scare me. I placed our daughter on a industrial sized can that was cemented into the sides of the river bank and turned, but the others weren’t there, they weren’t out. My husband can’t swim!!
I swam out a little but it was too murky, I couldn’t see, I didn’t have enough air and I started to panic, I needed to find my husband. As I came back up for air our daughter was back in the water floundering to stay afloat; she didn’t want me to leave her. I couldn’t search for my husband and hold her, I tried to put her back but she climbed back in, unable to swim. All the time, my mind was aware that they were drowning and time was running out! Panic and fear took over my body when they suddenly surfaced and I woke up.
I got into a nice large bed with a red quilt, the room was red, a largish tv on the wall across from the foot of the bed. The ghost quickly pulled my blanket up to my neck, making me cosy. A few other things happened with similar niceties that I can’t quite remember. They wanted me to watch a film or something.
I can’t remember how I got to the gob stopper shaped balls with string hanging from under the bed towards the headboard, however, I do remember ripping up the mattress to find hundreds of different coloured gob stoppers, marbles, beads… all with white string hanging or lying on the carpet. I was confused, scared; I didn’t know what they were for, what was going on. I shouted ‘what are you doing with these..’
Didn’t get to finish or find out. I’d obviously been making a noise as M woke me up, cuddling into me!
Our GP had a ‘bright spark’ moment as I lay with him standing above my head on an operating table. I was standing to the side, out of my body, watching. He’d realised there was a leak from the CNS and wanted to tap it. The nerve extending out the top of my head like a tube, only a clear tube through which you could see all.
He quickly grabbed a needle and said in an excited voice ‘I know what to do!’. He rushed and injected a small amount of liquid, plugging the hole. Instantly I was filled with fear as he stood back and my first thoughts ‘did he accidentally inject an air bubble’. No, within seconds we all gasped as a cell came alive, turned rectangular shaped and divided into hundreds of little dragon shaped squirmy things, dividing further. I was doomed, the panic was evident in all of us as we scrambled unsure how to stop it. They were swimming down to destroy the rest of my nerves!
We lived in a mansion, large steps leading to the front door with a large gravel drive. It was something like the houses from ‘Pride and Prejudice’, but inside, it was exactly the same as our current house!
Our daughter and I were getting ready to go out with some friends she’d invited. One turned up while we were still getting our coat and shoes on. She didn’t open the door, just shouted through it. Then she popped upstairs to tell me her other friend had arrived, but they had brought their friend with them. Eventually we walked downstairs and I asked her why she hadn’t opened the door to greet them, it was rude, but she just shouted through it, ‘just getting our coats on’. I opened the door as I walked past to show we were in and just coming, as I briskly walked into the kitchen to rinse my fingers.
I realised there were too many people to fit in the car so told her to tell the girls and see if the could work out a solution. How are we getting to the cinema with extra people? Looking back now, we had enough seats but in the dream, we didn’t. She came back and said they were all getting into an Irish kids car and going off. I ran out and caught them before they left. the Irish kid (looked like a Jedwood) told me ‘they don’t want to hang with you, they want to come with me, you can’t force them to do something they don’t want’. I ran round to the other side of the car but they wouldn’t open the window so I shouted through. I can’t remember what I said, something to do with how they were going off and leaving our daughter alone and were they really okay with that, but the girl just looked at me and shrugged, disappointment, sadness and anger filling my body.
They drove off with a screech and I was left to tell her, alone!
I woke up
We look out over the balcony of our apartment building. Us and our neighbour have platform parking spaces with both cars parked on the ramps. Think car service ramps but completely flat surface instead of just a run for each wheel! There is a walkway from the flat (it’s changed from a low rise apartment to a high rise flat and the walkway is from the flat itself, high up in the sky – floating ramps)
We are talking about our cars when I mention the tiny bubble car the neighbour has. I don’t just look out at it, it’s like a movie where the camera moves out to look around it.
The platforms are separated by a fair distance – you’d have to jump to get across, but I wouldn’t take a chance at that height!
Suddenly I think of our son, I can’t remember if he wants to see their car but either way he comes running from their pathway. There is a young lady cleaning the side of the car. Fear and panic set in as I realise what’s about to happen. He’s younger than he is now, he won’t know to stop, he’ll keep running, thinking that the platforms are joined. I call out, we all call out telling him to stop. The girl tries to grab him, she misses his arm, he giggles and keeps going. I shout out that if they don’t catch him, he’ll fall.
I watch as he runs off the edge, my heart pounding, suddenly sinking with nothing I can do other than watch his face at the shock of falling, his arms and legs flail out grasping at air! I don’t hear any screams, just my heart and racing thoughts that I’m about to lose him!
It’s a long way down.
As I watch, I expect him to splatter but he doesn’t. He falls at a slight angle as a breeze blows him over towards a lift where he lands inside on his back. A lady picks him up as I rush down and quickly lay him back down – she shouldn’t have picked him up, he will be broken. I cuddle him and tell my husband as he runs in ‘he’ll need an operation but is unlikely to survive’. My throat cramping as I try to choke back the tears and emotion.
I woke up…