Society doesn’t want us to be negative, it’s not allowed! We’re supposed to paint a smile on our face and trudge through each day pretending everything is peachy when really the stresses are killing us. Instead of being able to feel relaxed and free to voice our issues, worries or concerns, we battle through each day appearing strong and dealing with it.
NO! What we should be doing is feeling comfortable in our own skin; confident that what we are thinking or feeling, our worries or concerns are similar to everyone else, that we all have them. We should be able to voice them without the fear of appearing insane, crazy, needy, unbalanced or unhinged – and yet we can’t.
Some say it’s good to write your thoughts down when you’re depressed – apparently! Then again, others argue that to dwell on such thoughts and feelings will place us into a spiral of melancholy, appearing ever worse than when we first started. We are supposed to remember the first and last details of information the most so it’s beneficial to finish off a journal with a positive note such as ‘I love going to…’ or ‘Next week I plan to…’ – or so they say! Personally I found that when I write it helps stop the random activity of overflowing thoughts in my head (see ‘Searching for my Click’ on the ‘About’ menu). However, over time this does start to make me sink further.
My current theory is that: for someone who is depressed, low, or just riding the waves of life, we need to verbalise or write our thoughts, stresses and strains instead of bottling it up as we have always done, as we feel we should do – as per societal norm. By being able to voice our worries or concerns it allows us to process our thoughts, to conciously work through them. Sometimes it’s even a form of brainstorming – we are able to see them more clearly, see how small they may be or provide some kind of solution. Other times, to discuss them allows others to acknowledge that what we are thinking is not unreasonable, unnatural or wrong. Our worries, fears and concerns can be recognised and understood, or simply communicated back to us in a way that makes us understand and make sense.
We need to feel less of a burden with our need to process the negativity in order to reach the positive within it.