Have you ever watched Cat on a Hot Tin Roof by Tennessee Williams? Brick, an alcoholic – played by Paul Newman – is talking to his father about why he drinks.
Brick: Somethin’ hasn’t happened yet.
Big Daddy: What’s that?
Brick: A click in my head.
Big Daddy: Did you say “click”?
Brick: Yes sir, the click in my head that makes me feel peaceful.
Big Daddy: Boy, sometimes you worry me.
Brick: It’s like a switch, clickin’ off in my head. Turns the hot light off and the cool one on, and all of a sudden there’s peace.
Big Daddy: Boy, you’re, you’re a real alcoholic!
Brick: That is the truth. Yes, sir, I am an alcoholic. So if you’d just excuse me…
Big Daddy: [grabbing him] No, I won’t excuse you.
Brick: Now I’m waitin’ for that click and I don’t get it. Listen, I’m all alone. I’m talkin’ to no one where there’s absolute quiet.
Big Daddy: You’ll hear plenty of that in the grave soon enough.
The closest I can get to explaining how I feel is to liken it to an overflowing pool of thoughts that keep circling round, sometimes producing more thoughts and questions that need to be released in order for them to stop. Only unlike Brick who drinks alcohol to stop his thoughts, I use words and send them out into the void. Sometimes I post them in a blog, other times I type them into a journal, and on occasion I’ve sent them to a friend.
That’s how I get my click!!
This blog contains random thoughts that pop into my head any time; day or night. They may not make sense to you, but I don’t need them!