Struggling upstream

It’s been three months since my last real entry! It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, it’s that I can’t be bothered to sit here and type. There’s so much I want to say, so many plans and things I want to do, but I have the enthusiasm and motivation of a Sloth who’s sleeping! I really can’t be bothered to do anything at all.

I have many plans for my life, my children, dreams for the house, the future – decorating, courses, creative arts… all sorts of things. However, I’m my own worst enemy. I can sit for hours doing absolutely nothing, just dreaming or wasting away the time doing bits and pieces of no significance. Yet, here I am now, struggling to get to grips with the most important parts of my life and if I don’t pull myself together, my dreams, aspirations and passion will be gone.

I’m struggling to shift my mental state into a place where I have some get-up and go. I need to drive all my being into my current course before I fail. I’m at the stage where I’m wondering if this is right for me, can I do it, will I be good enough or should I do what I can then move to the next best thing which isn’t a side step but a few steps back. It will be far easier to coast along.

Taking the easy option and swimming with the current instead of upstream will be a huge regret!


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