Our eldest receives free transport to the secondary school she attends but her friends do not go on the coach she’s been designated. Every morning or afternoon, the children push her aside and bundle on to the bus trying to get to the front seat of the coach. The elder children go to the back, as you’d expect, so the next best thing for the lower school children is to fight for the front instead. If our daughter gets on the bus before anyone else arrives, she’ll sit at the front, not because it’s the popular spot but because it makes are feel comfortable being able to see where the bus is going once it starts to move. However, there are a few girls who like to make a big fuss most mornings about this and will either barge past her which isn’t hard as she is petite for her age, or will make comments on the way past or while sitting behind her.
Due to the nature of the issues that have happened since before she left the Juniors and went up into Secondary school, I had to liaise with the school ‘Pastoral Care’ to make them aware and to highlight the issues that she was dealing with without telling anyone. They informed me and later spoke to her, that she must tell them of all incidents or they are unable to work with us and fix things. So, suffice to say, she reported the verbal taunts from one girl on the coach but now the friend of this girl has started in her place.
I don’t want our daughter to get pulled into the game by retaliating, which is what she is thinking of doing by replying with short remarks in reply, but at the same time how do I get her to stand up for herself without making things worse for her re: school ethos and rules!?!
Its like having a small blade pushed into your side and slowly twisted; apart from forcing your child to keep reporting bullying or for you to be constantly on the phone snitching on the kids doing the dirty, what else can be done. You have to listen to your child vent about the abuse that they receive and really, apart from follow the procedures, you and they, have to endure it and carry on as if nothing is happening.
Over the last few years we’ve taught our daughter how to vent to prevent physical and verbal behaviour which we were receiving in the home. The anxiety levels were extremely high although now we have them at a reasonable level but more than the typical child, and there were a lot of leg, arm and hand flaps with temper tantrums. These are all things that we now have under control but not something I want to regress!