Thinking Aloud

What’s the idea of blogging – why blog?

I find I have a strong need to vent, to type up my thoughts and release the emotions that build up. Maybe if I felt comfortable and trusted loved ones or didn’t feel like I was such a burden to close friends, I wouldn’t have the need to post on a blog!

Sometimes I publish explosive posts that aid the process for me to heal the stresses of life, others are just random thoughts that give little meaning until I’ve typed them, and some are un-wanted thoughts that run through my mind. Yet within a few hours or days I feel the need to un-publish and place them on Private. A paranoia sets in that what I’ve typed is silly, stupid, making me appear needy to those who know me, they’d walk away. They are just thoughts that are gone within hours.

It’s okay to have thoughts and emotions; people don’t have to agree with everything we think or feel, we all have them, we just tend not to say them out loud or act on them in public. Most of us cypher our thoughts during the process until we understand them and only then do we release them if we think its right. Our brain is a complex muscle firing between neurons fighting to make sense of the world and our being. It’s okay to let those thoughts out. Someone somewhere will think the same and it doesn’t necessarily mean we are a bad person, needy or impulsive; we’re just trying to adjust to bombardments in our life and everything that’s thrown at us.

So why do I feel the need to justify what I’ve thought or posted or put back into private? The majority of the time they mean very little and are passing thoughts I’d rather release than let build. If it wasn’t for this blog no one would know anything about what I think and it would make very little difference to them. For me, the emotions and stresses that life has given me over the last three-four years would have built up and exploded with detrimental effects to my mental health. My thoughts aren’t put out there for people to act upon; if they were, they’d be told to people I know care about me.

So why blog? I need to, it releases tension, it helps me adjust my thoughts and because it’s healthy!

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11 thoughts on “Thinking Aloud

  1. I do the same. In fact, when I first started this blog, most of my posts were pure emotional rants. I had just suffered a nervous breakdown. My family, friends, and acquaintances are all too happy; I did not want to burst their bubble. Instead, I burst bubbles here. Some, I un-published and made private like you. I do want to post them again and am trying to figure out how to do so in a way that helps people understand emotional rants–how they are, like you write, passing storms. In my opinion, if you keep these fleeting emotional rants within, they will resurface some other way. It is now about seven months since I started this blog. It has helped me tremendously in many ways. I must write a post about it soon. 🙂

    • Indeed you should. Your posts are very insightful and maybe I should listen to my own words of wisdom. They ARE only thoughts and sometimes we need to express them. We shouldn’t feel ashamed or paranoid about what we think and feel. 🙂

  2. I can relate! I have deleted posts a few times because of this paranoia. I realized later, just as you said, the words are not for anybody and there is no reaction expected. I though about this and wondered; if it is not for anybody else and it has no external result, the only possible thing it could be is; myself communicating with myself in a public arena, which is good for personal affirmation. Great post!!

  3. I can certainly relate to this post and its reasoning. I blog as therapy and have shared the website only with select people I know. Writing creates words for my thoughts and feelings and organizes them in an understandable way… I hope. Many times, I have used the words I’ve written/blogged to verbally communicate and explain things to the 3D people in my life. Publishing my posts somehow validates those thoughts and feelings, especially when they result in comments from people who understand. Touching people who read what I’ve written and understand it is a bonus along the way. Reading other blogs was an unforeseen blessing.

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